If you’ve ever tried anything that was new or outside of your comfort zone, then you’ve most likely felt fear and self-doubt.
Personally, I’ve dealt with fear and self-doubt many times and it’s no fun. In fact, it was one of the first subjects that I committed myself to understanding so I could learn to overcome it.
I knew that if I didn’t learn to overcome fear and self-doubt it would hold me back from ever achieving my full potential.
If you let fear and self-doubt dictate your life you will struggle to learn and grow as a person.
Our minds create fear and self-doubt in order to keep us safe. Humans have been biologically programmed to be fearful and cautious. It’s what has allowed our species to survive for as long as we have.
Fear and self-doubt allowed early humans to survive their dangerous environment but it’s no longer serving us. We live in a time where fear and self-doubt can hold us back from achieving greatness.
For instance, most people have an enormous fear of public speaking. In fact, it’s so common that its official name is Glossophobia and it’s believed to affect around 75% of the population.
I was once a part of that population. I used to be a complete mess before I had to speak in public.
But why are most people so afraid to speak in public? Especially when it’s such a valuable skill?
It’s quite simple, we fear what other people might think of us, and we doubt our own ability to speak effectively.
“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” – William Shakespeare
Fear and self-doubt will hold us back from doing the things that we need to do. We all know that being able to speak in public is a highly valuable skill and it’s a great way to share our knowledge, but most people let fear and self-doubt hold them back.
Fear and self-doubt = dream killers
In this article I’m going to cover the 7 best ways to overcome fear and self-doubt so you can live the life you were meant to live.
Let’s get started!
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Do you ever find yourself comparing your life to your friend’s life, or your Instagram follower count to some famous influencer’s follow count?
If your answer is yes, don’t feel guilty. It just means you’re human. We all compare ourselves to others. It’s human nature.
However, constantly comparing ourselves to others can quickly lead to depression and/or anxiety. This is one of the reasons why social media can have such a negative impact on peoples lives.
Comparing ourselves to others can also lead to fear and self-doubt.
For instance, imagine your dream job position comes available at your work. You immediately apply for the position and your supervisor schedules an interview with you. Just before your interview you see one of your all-star co-workers walk out of your supervisor’s office with a big smug look on his face. You immediately assume that he crushed his interview and you start comparing yourself to your co-worker. Suddenly a wave of fear and self-doubt washes over you. You go in for your interview and you are a sweaty, nervous wreck. Let’s just say the interview doesn’t go as well as you had hoped.
In order to pursue your dreams and live the life that you want to live, you need to stop comparing yourself to others. I know, easier said than done, right?
I can’t say that it’s easy, but it is definitely possible. It all starts with cultivating self-awareness. You need to be aware of your propensity to compare yourself to others.
When you catch yourself comparing your five-figure salary to your friends six-figure salary, stop and recalibrate.
Remind yourself that things aren’t always as they appear. Your friend might be living beyond his means and struggling financially.
Either way, your focus should only be on yourself and making sure that you are making progress towards your goals every single day.
The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Don’t worry about what other people are doing, just live your life and pursue the things in life that make you happy.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
2. Take Massive Action
I first heard about the concept of taking “massive action” from the great Tony Robbins. He was giving one of his notoriously energetic speeches on how to get what you want in life and the importance of taking massive action to accomplish your goals.
After the speech I took some time to let the concept of taking massive action sink in. I started to examine my life and all the different areas of my life that were lacking. I came to realize that they were lacking because I wasn’t taking massive action.
I soon learned that taking massive action could be used to solve most of my problems in life and business.
For instance, anytime I’m about to try something new and I start to feel fear and self-doubt creeping in, I always take massive action towards it.
This tends to lessen the fear and self-doubt to a manageable level, allowing me to move forward and not give up.
For example, when I decided to start attending my local Toast Masters club, I felt a strong sense of fear and self-doubt.
What if I develop a stutter?
What if I fumble over my words?
What if I completely forget my speech?
I started to psyche myself out. Instead of giving in to all the “what if’s”, I decided to take massive action.
I started reading every book I could find on public speaking. I also started watching famous speeches on YouTube. I completely immersed myself in public speaking.
Then I signed up for the course and committed myself to attending. After I finished my first speech, I was extremely proud of myself for following through and overcoming my fear and self-doubt. I was also very happy that I took massive action and made it happen.
And best of all, none of those fears came true. I made it through my speech without fumbling over my words and I even received a couple compliments.
When you take massive action, you are making a commitment to yourself that you will keep going no matter what.
You’re not hiding from your fear and self-doubt, your moving forward despite them. Even if you fail it’s ok, it’s just part of the process. The point is to keep going.
It’s ok to feel fear and self-doubt, even successful people feel these emotions. However, it’s not ok to let fear and self-doubt stop you from achieving your goals.
You must acknowledge the fact that you are feeling fear and self-doubt and make a commitment to yourself that you are going to continue no matter what.
You are going to take massive action towards you dream and you won’t let anything stand in your way.
3. No One Really Cares
I know this is hard to believe but it’s the truth, no one really cares. Most of the judgement and criticism you imagine people saying about you isn’t how people really feel.
Most people already know this intuitively but it’s still difficult to get over. Think about it, do you spend all day thinking about that person who stuttered when they said hello to you at the grocery store? Probably not.
This idea should be liberating for you. I know it was for me. I remember vividly when I first realized that people don’t care as much as I thought they did.
I gave a presentation at my work on new sales strategies that we could implement. Halfway through my presentation the computer froze, and I couldn’t use my slides.
I continued with my presentation anyway and did my best to remember what I had in my PowerPoint. After the presentation I felt like I bombed, and I was sure that everyone else thought so too.
As it turns out, no really cared that my presentation didn’t go as planned. In fact, a couple of sales agents came up to me and said that they liked my ideas and thanked me for sharing. I was shocked!
The reason people don’t care as much as you think they do is because they have their own stuff to worry about.
They are too busy worrying about their jobs, their kids, or their credit card debt they are trying to pay off. Most people simply don’t have the capacity to care about what you do or don’t do.
So, you might as well do what you want to do!
Sure, people will give you their opinion/criticism but that’s only because people love to share their opinions. Even if they have no related knowledge or experience.
Just because someone shares their negative opinions with you doesn’t mean they want you to fail. This is mostly because they don’t care enough to want you to fail.
This might sound harsh but it’s true. Most people are busy and really stressed out. They can’t afford to waste their time judging you.
So, next time you start worrying about what your friends might say, or what your family might think of you, remind yourself that you are not the center of their universe and they’re not going to care what you do.
This leaves you free to do whatever you want, and you don’t have to worry about being judged by others. So, find what it is that you really want and go after it!
“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.” -Dave Barry
4. Become A Master
One of the best ways to overcome fear and self-doubt is to become better at what it is that you want to do.
For instance, if you have a presentation coming up that you have to give in front of your co-workers and your feeling fear and self-doubt creeping in, immerse yourself in all things public speaking
Commit to learning as much about public speaking as you can. Go to your public library and check out a couple book on public speaking.
Go on YouTube and watch videos on public speaking and take notes. This is what I did before my first public speech and it really helped.
Also, practice your presentation as much as you can. Practice in your bathroom mirror, practice while your taking a shower, and practice while you’re driving to work.
The more that you practice the easier it will become. Once you start getting better you will feel the fear and self-doubt start to diminish.
One person who mastered the art of practice was the late Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs was known for his creative brilliance and his amazing presentation skills. If you want to learn how to give a great presentation, I suggest you watch the presentation Steve Jobs gave in 2007 when he first introduced the iPhone. It’s inspiring.
Jobs used to rehearse his presentations exhaustively before every Apple product launch. He would be up on stage by himself with no one in the audience, practicing.
Brent Schlender, the co-author of Becoming Steve Jobs, did an interview with Fast Company and said the following about Jobs:
“I once spent an entire day watching him run through multiple rehearsals of a single presentation, tweaking everything from the color and angle of certain spotlights, to editing and rearranging the order of the keynote presentation slides to improve his pacing,”
This is why Steve Jobs always appeared to be so calm and confident on stage. He had rehearsed the presentation so many times he knew every word and every step that he would take.
He didn’t leave any room for fear or self-doubt. He practiced speaking and presenting until he eventually became a master.
If you want to eliminate fear and self-doubt commit to mastering whatever it is that you want to do. Become so good that you couldn’t feel fear or self-doubt even if you tried.
5. Celebrate Your Small Wins
Fear and self-doubt have a way of derailing our progress. You might feel like you’re on a roll and then something unexpected shows up, suddenly fear and self-doubt start to creep in.
This is why it’s so important to celebrate your wins, even small ones. Every small win takes you one step closer to achieving your goals.
And celebrating those small wins makes you want to achieve even more. This creates positive momentum that will help to propel you towards achieving your dreams.
Many of us find it easy to punish ourselves when we fail at something. You might feel guilty or ashamed for failing to accomplish a lofty goal that you set for yourself.
This is the negativity bias hard at work. The negativity bias is hardwired in all human beings. It’s an old relic from our early ancestors. It used to be necessary for survival, but now it’s not very useful.
The negative bias can have profound effects on how you think, respond, and feel. In fact, the negativity bias plays a large part in you feeling fear and self-doubt. This is because the negativity bias has you focusing more on negative events as opposed to positive ones.
You may have experienced the negativity bias if you:
- Focus more on negative comments and less on praise.
- Remember tragic events over positive events.
- Think negatively more than positively.
- Focus more on people’s negative flaws and less on their positive attributes.
Don’t worry, there is no need to lose hope. There are ways to tilt the scale more towards positivity.
One of the most effective ways to do this is by celebrating small wins. When you celebrate your small wins your brain releases feel good neurotransmitters like dopamine that reinforce that behavior.
This creates a positivity loop which leads to more positive behavior. This will help you to stay focused on accomplishing your goals and less focused on the potential negative outcomes.
So next time you start feeling fear and self-doubt, accomplish something small and celebrate the win. This will boost your confidence and reinvigorate your spirit.
“I’ve found that small wins, small projects, small differences often make huge differences.” – Rosabeth Moss Kanter.
6. Be Kind to Yourself
This might seem like a no-brainer, but this is one of the hardest habits to implement. We all have an internal voice that never seems to take a break, and if were being honest, it’s usually not very friendly.
If we all had electronic devices that played our thoughts out loud, most of us would be placed into a mental hospital.
Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about other people hearing our negative self-talk. However, we should care more that WE must listen to our negative self-talk.
This is because negative self-talk can lead to fear and self-doubt. This can have a detrimental effect on you achieving your goals.
If you want to master your life you must master your thoughts. I don’t mean controlling your thoughts entirely, because that isn’t possible. Just like stopping your thoughts isn’t possible.
However, you can crowd out negative thoughts with positive ones. It will take some effort on your part but it worth it. The mind tends to be like Velcro for negative thoughts and Teflon for positive thoughts.
In other words, negative thoughts tend to stick more than positive thoughts.
So, make sure you practice positive self-talk as often as possible. Over time you will start to strengthen the neural pathways that correspond to the positive self-talk and it will become easier.
Eventually, your self-talk will become more natural and effortless. This comes with practice so be patient, be consistent, and always remember to be kind to yourself.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde
7. Just Get Started
When in doubt, just get started. Many people let fear and self-doubt keep them from ever taking the first step.
They suffer from analysis paralysis. They become overwhelmed with all the different decisions that they must make, so they end up not making any.
Don’t let this happen to you. If you know in your heart what you want, take the first step today. It doesn’t have to be a big step, just as long as you move forward.
Small steps can lead to massive progress when taken consistently over time.
This is called the compound effect. Darren Hardy speaks about the power of consistent daily action in his book titled The Compound Effect.
“Isn’t it comforting to know you only need to take a series of tiny steps, consistently, over time, to radically improve your life?” – Darren Hardy
When you take the first step you are making a choice to go after your dream. You’re making a commitment to yourself that you are willing to do what it takes to succeed.
Don’t let fear and self-doubt stop you from getting started. Just commit to taking one step forward, and then another, and then another.
Eventually, you will be where you want to be. It will take some time, but the time is going to pass anyways so you might as well spend it go after your dream.
How do you overcome fear and self-doubt? Let me know!
Quote from the late Health Ledger on self-doubt
“It’s kind of a rule of thumb for me to self-doubt going into any kind of project. I always think that I shouldn’t be doing it, and I don’t know how to do it, and I’m going to fail, and that I fooled them. I always try to find a way out.” – Heath Ledger
It’s hard to imagine that someone as talented as Health Ledger could have suffered from self-doubt. I like to imagine Health Ledger feeling this self-doubt while he was preparing for his role as the “Joker” in The Dark Knight.
I imagine him feeling like he isn’t right for the role and that he’s going to let everyone down but choosing to persevere anyway. As we all know he gave the performance of a lifetime which won him an Oscar and cemented his performance as one of the greatest in movie history.
